Guest Review: The Coral Reef Dildo by Emmeline Peaches

When the ever-lovely Brunette Reviews approached me with the idea of doing a toy swap I had no idea what would unfold. That action turned in to one of the key moments in the conception of #TeamAmazeballs and pretty much kickstarted a brand-new community project of co-operative and supporting content trading. Given this, you can only imagine how honoured I feel to now debut my first of these toy swap reviews on Brunette’s site.

It is perhaps an excitement only matched by the moment where The Brunette Reviews innocently stated “Well I’ve got this one dildo that looks like a coral reef…” and my heart immediately jolted with sheer excitement.

I vividly remember seeing the crafting efforts that went in to The Coral Reef—how Tails and Portholes used real seashells and their own creative vision to craft out a phallus from the sea. How exciting it all was and intriguing, watching someone shape a brilliant sexual object from pure oceanic inspiration. I wanted the Coral Reef. I coveted it like a pirate is driven to seek for new treasures.

Alas, at the time my vagina neither approved of girth nor texture and so a sensible aspect of my psyche refrained. Remind me to spank that part of myself. Hard.

The Coral Reef

Why might sensible Emmeline deserve a consensual beating until she scream out her apologies? Because The Coral Reef is no longer in product. This makes me a very sad peach indeed for a few reasons, all of which pertain to the effectiveness of this toy.

Firstly, look at it. I mean, just look! This toy is a brilliant combination of natural form, creative flare, and intellectual practicality and the result is truly breath-taking. How often do any of us get to fuck ourselves with Poseidon’s blessings? (I mean if you shop at Tails and Portholes you can fuck an actual Poseidon, but that’s beside the point). There is something so truly intimate about using a toy that isn’t just inspired by nature but dictated by it. Tails and Portholes have effectively allowed themselves a curatorial role in the conception of The Coral Reef—as they work with what the sea offers them and revel the true potential in organic shapes.

Plus it’s just nice to shove a seashell against your G-Spot without worrying about it shattering or the risk of some sort of infection.

This is due, of course, to the phthalate-free, non-porous, completely body-safe silicone that Tails and Portholes uses for their products. This silicone is beautifully grabby and clingy, to the point where it really drags against the vaginal walls—cloying against them and grasping every moment of pleasure out of them that it can. For some this will be too much (especially with the additional texture), for me it’s heaven. Tails and Portholes have refined their silicone processes since the days of The Coral Reef, and you can now purchase their toys in different firmnesses. But there is a certain appeal in taking things as their maker offer them and this feels particularly significant with such a beautifully crafted toy.

Beyond the aesthetic element, the highly textured silicone offering that The Coral Reef provides also offers up extremely gratifying sensations, which will please anyone who likes the surface of their dildos to be a bit rough. The entire shaft of The Coral Reef is made to mimic a serene sandy beach, and we all know how gritty sand can be! This makes thrusting with the Coral Reef a bombardment of seaside bliss. Sex on the beach can move over. I’ll take sex with the beach as my preference any day of the week.

Besides, although The Coral Reef is undeniably grabby and rough, it never felt irritatingly grainy or abrasive…at least not to me. Depending on your preference in texture your experience may vary but gently thrusting The Coral Reef and feeling it tug my labia and graze my insides was a wave of bliss.

Yet one of the brilliant aspect of The Coral Reef is that its head (a beautiful and very large seashell) provides a bulbous and most smooth contrast to this toy’s sandy shaft. Although the seashell that form the head has a noticeable swirl, its bulging form feels mostly slick and smooth, with all the effectiveness of the bulb of the Pure Wand or Comet Wand if those toys were slightly squished and given an asymmetrical flare. This won’t work for everyone but it definitely did for me, and I relished in the persistence with which The Coral Reef’s seashell stroked against my G-Spot.

But divers beware! This watery wonder can be as perilous as it is pleasurable and—spankings deserved or not—there was a reason why sensible Emmeline shied away from this dildo. With an insertable length of 5.7 inches and a maximum diameter of 2 inches at the shell this dildo is not for those why shy away from girth. A large portion of this girth can also be felt straight away—through the blunt for of its seashell head—making it a bit tricky for some people to insert. If you prefer your toys to taper The Coral Reef is not your friend.

Equally if texture is something you avoid then The Coral Reef is a huge tempest of ‘NOPE’. There is no avoiding how draggy and textured this toy is. It’s the grand appeal of the toy! And this just will not work for some people.

The extreme texture also makes this dildo extremely difficult to clean. Silicone can easily be put in the dishwasher or scrubbed with soap/toy cleaner and water but you still need to be diligent with the nooks and crannies of The Coral Reef. Especially the base—which is a troubling ripple in an otherwise calm ocean.

Speaking of that base, the extensive details given to it (although gorgeous) are mostly redundant…actually, tell a lie; I do enjoy them a lot but not when using this toy internally. Instead I really appreciate the texture on this base if ever I choose to rind the shaft of The Coral Reef up against my clit—in which case the base massages my booty and anal opening. Other than this, though (which is a very specific form of play) it primarily just hinders harness-use and makes cleaning much more of a chore. Is the trade-off worth it for that extra method of self-pleasure? Not for most, I would imagine.

Final Thoughts

Overall it’s fair to say that The Coral Reef is a refined taste and I can see why Tails and Portholes gave it a permanent space in the locker of Davy Jones, but I still adore it and think it’s an exceptional display of just what the ocean has to offer. The Coral Reef is not for everyone but it is a dream come true for sea-soned lovers of girth and sensation.

Yet because the Coral Reef is no longer readily available and I’m forced to say the following—if you love texture, girth, and unusual toys then seek this sex toy out. Allow it to drive you and approach it with the same wanderlust as a sailor does when glancing out to sea.

Alternatively check out some of the many new creations that Tails and Portholes has to offer. Being made mostly to a design, they’re not necessarily in the same league as The Coral Reef (at least in terms of inspiration from nature) but I trust in the effectiveness and wonderful aesthetic brilliance of Tails and Portholes products.

Recommend to:

People who love texture.

People who love girth.

Collectors of retired dildos.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who dislike texture.

People who dislike girth.

People who would rather try and support a current design.

If you enjoyed this review and would like to check out more of Emmelines’ reviews, then please check out her blog here! If you also have some interest in Team Amazeballs then you can check out this amazing post on it by Emmeline.

  • The CORAL REEF DILDO is a very unique dildo and yes I agree with you that this toy should not be used by people who do not enjoy textured dildos or sex toy items that are girthy. However, if you do enjoy texture and girth, this sex toy is amazing especially when it is peered up with a good water- base sexual lube.