The Things I’ve Learnt in the Sex Toy World

“I went into the sex toy world as blind as Stevie Wonder.”

So I thought it would be cool to put up a list of a few things I’ve learnt in the past year that I’ve been using sex toys. Mainly because some of the people who might be reading this have either never used a sex toy or they’re only just starting out. I don’t pretend to be an expert on this at all, as there’s a lot of professional sex toy bloggers who know what they’re talking about, but still, why the hell not?

The sex toy material is important. I went into the sex toy world as blind as Stevie Wonder. I didn’t know anything body-safe materials at all. I didn’t know what to use and what not to use. I didn’t even know the dangers of jelly dildos. Jelly is a highly toxic material and there’s been people mentioning reactions they’ve had to jelly. Such as hands peeling after handling jelly toys for numerous hours, swelling of the genitals, itching and burning. Toxic toys also leak or smell, a lot of them can have an oily feel to them and they also smell really bad when they’re straight out of the packaging. Like I found with a ‘skin safe’ rubber dildo I once had.  Toxic materials also contain phthalates. Phthalates are a group of chemicals used to make plastics more flexible and harder to break. They are often called plasticizers. Some phthalates are used as solvents (dissolving agents) for other materials. There are studies around that show phthalate exposure can damage your organs and cause cancer. I’m being a little bit morbid here but this is something you need to know if you’re thinking of using a sex toy or if you already are. The materials you should avoid are jelly, rubber (yes, even ‘skin safe’ rubber), PVC, vinyl, Cyberskin, and UR3.

Materials that are your best friend are 100% pure medical-grade silicone, hard plastic/acrylic, glass/metal/wood/ceramic and other natural materials.

A rabbit vibrator might not be your best first choice. It might seem strange for this to be on the list as rabbit vibrators have always seemed to be highly advertised as the best sort of toy around. Especially for a newbie. But they’re really not, at least that’s how I see it. Rabbit vibrators are actually confusing at best and might make you feel like shit about your body. Why? Because what may work for others, may not work for you. I know that can be said for any other type of toy but rabbit vibrators have a tendency to not even fit your anatomy and/or completely overshoot the clitoris. It’s kind of like you start to feel self conscious about your own vagina and thoughts like this suddenly shoot across your brain: Why can’t my clit be lower down or higher up, or why can’t my G-spot be in the exact same position of the end of this fucking shaft so I can get the stimulation while the bunny ears are on my clit at the same time? Is that too much to ask for? I just want the perfect vagina for this stupid fucking vibrator. I hate myself. I hate EVERYTHING. Need I really say more? Just go with a cute little bullet as your first toy. They’re discreet (the majority of them are shaped like a mascara or a lipstick) and they’re usually quiet so if you live with room-mates or family, you don’t have to worry about being heard.

Expensive doesn’t always mean ‘better’.  I’m sure we’ve all been approached by some bored employee in some electronics shop, trying to show you the ‘best’ product available, all the while being the most expensive. This also goes for something sex toy related. Thankfully, the sex toy world has gone digital for the most part so buying one is only a few clicks away. However, there are numerous luxury companies who frequently have their products advertised on sex toy websites.A well-known luxury company is Lelo, a very classy looking company that produces extremely beautiful vibrators for men, women and couples. I wouldn’t say that their products are by any means, bad, but my experience with them is just overall, ‘meh’. I have some budget toys that do the exact same thing that a Lelo toy can do, if not 10x better. Sometimes just shopping around and finding an alternative that’s similar to a ‘luxury’ toy, is better than splurging on something expensive that you may not be able to return after using.

Lube is the butter to your bread. Just coat that toy in lube. Water based is the best choice as it’s compatible with any toy material and something like a lube that contains silicone, reacts with a toy made out of silicone, damaging it. In the beginning, I never bothered with lube, I decided to use my ‘natural’ lubricant or just not bother with making myself aroused at all. I know, shocking right? But then I actually got some lube and drizzled it all over my toy and I realised I had been missing out. It makes everything so much more enjoyable and the majority of the time, there’s no silicone drag. Win! Win!

Bondage and ‘butt stuff’ isn’t scary. I’m sure at one point, you’re curious, or have been curious, to check out the bondage and/or anal section of a sex toy website or poked your head into ‘that’ part of a sex toy store. It’s not scary or creepy at all or even taboo like the media would have you believe or perhaps some of your friends. There is often some information on how best to venture into bondage or butt stuff. And of course Googling an expert or two on these subjects doesn’t go amiss. I have tried both bondage and butt stuff. My first bondage item was some cute little nipple rings and my first anal items was a glass butt plug and a silicone butt plug. I also purchased an anal douche and of course, some anal lube. Now, an anal douche isn’t a necessity but I just wanted one so I wouldn’t have the paranoia of being..dirty back there. It’s easy to use and comfortable. My experience with bondage and anal was a pleasant one and it really is nothing to be wary or afraid of. So if you’re wanting to maybe go out of your comfort zone a little, just remember it’s nothing to fear.

Buying a sex toy from Amazon is a bad idea. OK so my boyfriend did once buy me a sex toy from Amazon, but the dispatcher and seller was a reputable company and the only company I get my toys from. If you do decide to buy a sex toy from Amazon, just make sure that the seller and dispatcher is a company you either know, or a company that people recommend. If the product is dispatched and sold by Amazon, then I’m sorry to tell you that you might get a fake. It is possible for you to get the real branded product, but they are few and far between, so if you decide to buy a sex toy completely through Amazon, then do so at your own risk. I know the cheap, cheap, cheap prices make the money saver in you just squeal with joy, but just remember, if a quality sex toy is extremely under-priced in one place, while being the normal expensive retail price elsewhere (but if it’s more than under 20% off), then it’s probably too good to be true.

That’s all folks. So far, this is my list of things I’ve learnt. It will always be subject to change as there’s always new things to learn in the sex toy world. But just remember to have fun, use a reputable company, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone, lube (every time) and for the love of God, use body-safe materials!