Maia Porpora Swirly Silicone Dildo Review

 

“The dildo equivalent of anal beads.”

 

Have you ever seen a sex toy that seems to say, yeah I’m big, I’m bad, come at me bro? OK it’s probably just me who’s thought that but the Maia Porpora Swirly just makes me think that every time I look at it. Granted, it’s no where near one of the biggest dildos I’ve ever seen (I’m looking at you, Great American Challenge). But once you count in the fact that it’s silicone, firm silicone at that, and the ‘swirls’ look more like ridges, then you’ve got a pretty decent sized dildo in your..hands?

First Impressions:

I don’t have pictures of the packaging as I’ve misplaced it somewhere but I do remember that it came in a sleek, lilac coloured box with some product info and the Maia itself was in a plastic mould, along with its own storage bag.

Now the Maia does look slightly intimidating. It isn’t exactly aimed at newbies or people who aren’t used to dildos of such a substantial size. The fact that the silicone barely has any squish to it at all, makes you realise that the Maia is going to feel a lot bigger than it looks at first glance. It stands at 8.25 inches, 7.5 inches of it being insertable. The girth is 5.5 inches in circumference.

The Maia is a very deep and lustrous looking purple, there’s a slight seam but it can’t be felt during use so it doesn’t make much of a difference. I’m happy to report that the silicone is fabulous. It feels so fucking velvety and I honestly can’t stop stroking it once I have it out. Yeah, I’m one of those people. The swirls (pah!) are very prominent as I said previously, and they were already seeming to leave a lasting impression on me when I was just running my finger over them.  I guess if you like to be able to feel your dildos quite well and you like firm pressure on the G or P-spot then the Maia does all the right things in that respect.

It does come with its own storage bag, as you can see in the pictures. It is really great quality. No, seriously. It’s really soft and stretchy, also quite attractive with its pinkish purple colour and lilac drawstrings.

The name ‘swirly’, really makes no sense to me at all. Swirls just remind me of something soft and gentle, something that might tease you. The Maia has RIDGES. They look quite intense and they are very prominent. The head is quite large and bulbous, but tapered so it’s fairly easy to insert. There’s also a little ridge below the head which is great if you like to feel a dildo ‘pop’ once inserted.

The Maia does come with a complete suction cup which is pretty strong, it doesn’t move at all when I’ve stuck it to a few hard surfaces. The only flex to the Maia is around the base once it’s suctioned down to a hard surface and a very slight squish in the head if I press quite hard on it. But other than that, the Maia is incredibly firm.

My Experience with the Maia Porpora Swirly:

It was an interesting experience. It kind of felt like the dildo equivalent of anal beads. Yeah I know that’s a strange thing to say about a dildo but it really is like that for me. Lots of water based lube is needed with the Maia as it seems to consume it as much as the plant consumes people in The Little Shop of Horrors. I think the Maia needs to be renamed to Audrey II. But once the Maia is well and truly lubed up, the insertion isn’t exactly that easy. It takes some firm bit of pressure for me to pop it in but once the Maia is in, it’s very comfortable.

Although, it is a bit of a shock to the vagina. My vagina seems to struggle with the Maia because of how firm and rigid it is, but once adjusted, it feels amazing. The ridges are very intense and they massage all around my vaginal walls and my vaginal opening. The head creates a lot of firm pressure to my G-spot, and I just adore that. My G-spot is very much into the firm pressure loving and the Maia gets the job done and then some. That ridge below the head is also orgasmic, I love to just almost withdraw the Maia so it pops out of me and the push it back in, feeling the ridge drag against my vaginal walls and G-spot.

The thing I’ve found unique about the Maia is that it’s not a dildo that seems to warm up to my body temperature. It’s not something I thought silicone ever really did because my other silicone toys warm up really quickly. This isn’t a negative at all, it’s quite the opposite. I love temperature play and toys that are cold just make me incredibly happy because it adds to the enjoyment and I can feel the sensations much more, rather than if the toy was warm.

Verdict:

The Maia Porpora Swirly is one of my toy box favourites, and with good reason. It has amazing texture, girth, the silicone is so soft and it’s so firm and rigid. These are all the things I look for in a dildo and I don’t think it’s that easy to find with something silicone.

I do think that it isn’t suited to people who aren’t used to toys on the larger side or who don’t like much texture and/or aren’t sure if a textured toy is their thing.

But, if you love texture, girth and velvety soft silicone, then the Maia is right for you. It’s also incredibly cheap for what you get. Only £22.99! What a complete bargain! So the Maia is great if you’re on a budget as well, what more could you ask for?

Where to buy?:

The Maia Porpora Swirly is available at Lovehoney for just £22.99.